Insanity Times Five
by Confessions of a Short Girl
Summary: Challenge!fic Five AU One Piece drabbles featuring none other than the straw hat crew. Ace is a straw hat? Luffy joined the revolution? Kuina is alive?


I'm an enormous fan of Alternative Universe settings so I thought it'd be fun to try and set a challenge.

Rules:

1.) Write minimum five drabbles. 2.) The setting must have an obviously AU slant in a very overt way.

Example: Shanks as a marine. (I did this one for sure.) Luffy never meets Shanks. Sanji as a member of Baroque works. (Wait, I definitely wrote this in another fic.) Luffy as a member of the revolutionary army. Zoro as a demon that wandered out of hell. (kishishishishi) Nami as state treasurer.

Not to be unreasonable I did a version first: Tripping the Dimensional Rift (And look how closely I stuck to the rules. XD)

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><p>"OI!" Garp yelled loudly at the rowdy bunch of...what could you call them? They acted more like pirates than marines. "Are you even listening to me?"<p>

"Shut up gramps!" Kidd practically screamed as he fought with Law, metal and body parts flying everywhere while the rest of them all watched on with amusement.

A tick mark appeared on Garp's forehead as he listened to the rest of his trainees taking bets on who would win, how long it would take for Garp to snap, and who would be stuck with dish duty tonight. A severed hand flew in his face and for him that was the final straw. "KNOCK IT OFF YOU BASTARDS!"

No one paid him any attention.

He dived in between Kidd and Law and bashed both of them on the head screaming, "BOTH OF YOU! YOU'RE STUCK BABYSITTING LUFFY FOR THE MONTH!"

"Are you crazy gramps?" Kidd yelled at Garp's face. "You want a damn babysitter for your retarded grandson go hire one! Don't stick us with babysitting the moron!"

"Kidd just can't handle seeing a replica of his stupidity." Law said smoothly, a smirk appearing on his face as he saw Kidd's face redden with anger.

"YOU WANNA GO?" Kidd didn't wait for a response from Law as he launch metal weapon after metal weapon at him.

Garp gave a heavy sigh before sitting down beside the rest of his trainees. He never was the best at child raising. Look at Dragon, he's now the head of a revolutionary, and Ace went off to be a pirate; Garp has no clue how he ever convinced Luffy to become a marine, especially after he met Red Hair. "Watch the two of them fight; analyze their weaknesses and how you would counter them in a battle." Garp said in a resigned voice wishing for a bottle of sake.

For not the first time in a while he regretted taking those eleven kids under his care and idly wondered if they would need to create more ranks in the marines since they were coming close to his level of power.

He watched as Luffy got up and joined Law and Kidd's fight and gave a sigh. The marines would definitely need to create more ranks for them.

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><p>"Ace! Stop eating all my food!"<p>

"Shut up Luffy!" Ace yelled at is brother, food spewing from his mouth. "You're taking my food too!"

"Ace chew with your mouth closed." Robin chided not looking up from her food.

"I'll consider it," Ace replied in a serious tone, "But only for you my little bird."

"How dare you call Robin-swan that?" Sanji yelled with fire burning in his eyes.

Ace rolled his eyes at the chef. "Just because you didn't have the balls to have sex with her, doesn't mean that I'm the same." Sanji froze and looked at Ace with a look of despair. "I can call my girlfriend whatever the hell I want."

The crew was silent before a collective; "NANI?" filled the air.

Ace and Robin just shared an amused smirk and continued eating their food.

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><p>"Ace, Roger!" Rouge called up the stairs of their ship. "Get down here before I eat all your food!" She was serious too; any D could eat their fair share of food. The sound of footsteps running down the stairs and both the men in her life crashed into the kitchen with worried expressions on their faces. At least it was like that until Ace looked at his father and adopted a look of disgust. Rouge gave a sigh at his teenage antics before just pointing to the food laden table.<p>

The family of three inhaled the food in front of them, barely pausing to breath let alone talk, before Roger uncharacteristically put down his fork and turned to Ace saying, "Is there something on your mind son?"

"Don't call me son." Ace mumbled as he inhaled his food.

"Don't avoid the question _son._" Roger gave a grin as he emphasized the last word of his sentence, feeling a sense of accomplishment when Ace gave a twitch.

"You don't deserve to call me son." A hard, cold, and swift response that hurt Roger, but he wasn't the Pirate King for nothing and he wasn't going to let Ace see that his remark hurt.

"Oh really?" Roger replied conversationally, as if the smirk upon his face didn't mean trouble. "I guess I haven't gotten around to speaking to you about the mechanics about creating a child. But you are my son unless your mother met some other man and had se-"

"Do not finish that sentence." Ace hissed with a face red as the fire that would engulf his body sometimes.

"Had sex with them while I was gone." Roger continued without batting an eyelash. "Then you are indeed my son and I am your father since I distinctly remember a night in Baterilla where your mother and I went into a room, found a bed and-"

"Fine!" Ace snapped, steam coming from his ears. "You're my father, but don't call me son."

"I'm not hearing any magic words." Roger said in a sing song voice much to Rouge's amusement and Ace's annoyance.

"Go to hell."

Such was a normal dinner with the family of Gol. D. Rouge.

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><p>"Kuina you dumbass!" Zoro yelled angrily. "You could have been killed!"<p>

"Well I wasn't Zoro so who cares!" She yelled back angrily at him. Honestly, did he think she purposely tripped and fell down two flights of dojo stairs?

"I care!" Zoro face was contorted with anger. "I can't lose you."

Kuina froze at the comment. "You what?"

"I can't lose you Kuina." Zoro's face was serious and his yes determined. "You are my rival and friend and I cannot lose you to something as stupid as death."

Kuina looked at Zoro differently after that conversation. He was no longer the boy who always challenged her and she would beat him to the ground, he was her friend and rival.

A bit of a stupid one with no sense of direction, but a rival and friend none the less.

_Twelve years later_

"Look what you've gotten us into now you baka."

"Me? You're the one that slice and diced the stupid wolf."

"It was going to attack the girl Zoro! You're saying I should have just left her to die?"

Zoro let out a huff and stared at the sky. His face was bloody and there was no comfortable way to be attatched to the post. "No, you did the right thing, but this is retarded punishment."

"You're the one to agree to it." Kuina mumbled and then gave a wince as her stomach growled.

A figure suddenly hopped the stone wall that separated the swordsmen and swordswoman from the rest of the town. Kuina squinted and saw a boyish grin and a straw hat and gave a groan, wondering if it was another stupid civilian trying to either help or make fun of them.

She was wrong on both accounts as the first words to come out of his mouth were, "You two wanna join my pirate crew?"

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><p>Dragon rubbed his temples at the noise that was coming from the dojo they had in the revolutionary headquarters. Loud crashes, curses, and shouts from a specific pirate, former pirate he corrected himself mentally, crew. At almost every hour of the day one of the former straw hats would be in there causing mayhem and destruction.<p>

Dragon had to admit that it was good in a way. His men's fighting skills had increased drastically since the nakama of his son had come and joined the revolution.

"Ack! Zoro no fair!" Dragon heard his son whine. "You said that you would use all three of your swords."

"Stop whining already Luffy!" the swordsman snapped. "They said I wasn't allowed to use all three of my swords in the dojo here, only one of them!"

"But I wanna fight against all three of your swords!"

"SHUT UP LUFFY!" Dragon heard his son's entire nakama yell.

Dragon sighed wearily with a smile upon his face. He couldn't wait to show the world that the straw hat pirate crew, who had mysteriously disappeared months ago, was now part of the revolution.

He could already see his father's face.

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><p><strong>So the first drabble, I think it's obvious that by some divine intervention the Supernovas decided to become marine.<strong>

**Second drabble is Ace a part of the straw hat crew, I always love stories like that.**

**Third is if Roger had lived and Ace was raised by Roger and Rouge.**

**Fourth is if Kuina hadn't died.**

**Fifth is if the straw hats decided to join the revolution.**


End file.
